Ever feel like you’re going nowhere in life?
This feeling of being stuck is surprisingly common. It can leave you questioning yourself and feeling like a failure. (Been there, done that.)
In the past, I waited for motivation to magically appear.
Spoiler alert: it didn’t.
This kind of thinking actually led to a frustrating cycle of feeling unmotivated, then briefly pumped before burning out – all while feeling pretty unhappy with myself. Not exactly a recipe for success.
Now, when I hit that wall, I use practical tools I found in my favorite self-help books.
You might be thinking, “Self-help books? Aren’t they all just empty promises?”
That’s a fair question.
After all, Self-help books are everywhere these days, with influencers churning them out faster than you can say “manifesting abundance.”
They promise the moon and stars – get rich quickly, and be happy forever! – but leave you feeling like you just read a fortune cookie with extra steps.
But hold on! Not all self-help books are created equal.
Some books can actually change the way you see things, challenge negative thoughts holding you back, and even push you to try new things.
Believe me, I’ve gone through my fair share of duds trying to find the good stuff.
That’s how I know that these 8 books are different. They’re not about magic bullets or overnight success. They offer real, actionable tools to help you reach your goals.
So, this list is basically your shortcut to skip the bad reads and get straight to the good stuff.
Who knows, maybe one of them could help you to achieve something amazing in your life too.
Table of Contents
Atomic Habits by James Clear
If you’ve been browsing self-help books lately, you’ve probably seen James Clear’s “Atomic Habits” everywhere.
It’s kind of like the Beyoncé of self-improvement – you can’t escape it! But trust me, this one’s worth the hype. Unlike some self-help books that leave you feeling overwhelmed, “Atomic Habits” actually gives you clear steps.
The main message of Atomic Habits by James Clear is that lasting change comes from making small, incremental improvements in your habits over time.
- The Power of Small Habits: The book emphasizes that significant improvements come from making small, consistent changes to your habits. These “atomic habits” compound over time, leading to remarkable results.
- Focus on Systems over Goals: While goals are important, the book argues that designing a system of habits is more effective for long-term change. The system becomes the focus, making goals a natural outcome.
- The Four Laws of Behavior Change: Clear outlines a framework for creating and maintaining habits. These four laws are:
- Make habits obvious: Cues in your environment trigger habits.
- Make habits attractive: Link habits to positive emotions and rewards.
- Make habits easy: Remove friction and simplify the desired behavior.
- Make habits satisfying: Create a positive feedback loop to reinforce the habit.
Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle
Ever feel like you’re constantly on the go, but never actually getting anywhere?
If that’s the case, “Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily and Amelia Nagoski” might have the answers you need.
This book isn’t about forcing you to squeeze in bubble baths and kale smoothies (although, no judgment if that’s your thing!). It’s about understanding why we get burned out, especially us women, and how to actually break the cycle.
The authors, who are sisters by the way, use science to explain what’s happening in our bodies and minds under stress and then give you practical tools to take back control.
Here’s what you can expect from this book:
- How to manage the biological stress cycle and return your body to a relaxed state.
- Techniques to manage frustration and the mental chatter that contributes to it.
- Strategies to combat the negative influence of societal pressures on body image.
- The importance of rest, human connection, and self-compassion for preventing burnout.
- Practical exercises and tools to create positive change and achieve well-being.
You might like: 90 self-care activities for a bad mental health day
How to Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis
I’m someone who finds clutter to be incredibly stressful. However, I struggle with procrastination and keeping things organized because of my anxiety.
Needless to say, the guilt of procrastinating and the clutter makes me feel very overwhelmed and stressed out.
The thing about a messy house/room is that they can bum you out more than you realize. According to Very Well Mind, clutter can lead to increased stress, procrastination, low quality of living, etc.
How to Keep House while Drowning by KC Davis allowed me to ditch the whole shame spiral that make cleaning a total nightmare. This book also helped me to be kinder to myself because “Care tasks are morally neutral”
This book will teach you about,
- Combating negativity: Challenge negative self-talk and shame often associated with a messy house.
- Prioritizing rest: KC Davis emphasizes the importance of giving yourself permission to relax, even if chores aren’t finished.
- Manageable steps: Breaking down overwhelming chores into smaller, more manageable tasks.
- Finding motivation: Tips to build momentum and find motivation to tackle cleaning.
The Psychology of Money by Morgan Housel
Ever wonder why you spend money on that latte even though you’re “saving”? Yeah, me too.
That’s why I found “The Psychology of Money” to be incredibly helpful.
School and traditional personal finance advice teach us to get a job, but not how our emotions mess with money goals.
This book seems to ask all the right questions: Are we scared to spend or scared to miss out? Is money a security blanket or a tool?
Because let’s be real, true financial freedom isn’t about having a million dollars. It’s about having enough peace of mind to do what you want, when you want, with the people you love. And that’s exactly what “The Psychology of Money” promises to help us achieve.
What to expect from “The Psychology of Money”
- Why financial decisions aren’t purely rational: how your upbringing, experiences, and emotions influence how you handle money.
- Common money mistakes: You’ll learn why people make bad financial decisions and how to avoid them yourself.
- Building wealth through good habits: the importance of developing positive financial habits, like frugality and patience, for long-term success.
- Financial wisdom over financial knowledge: practical takeaways and avoiding the trap of chasing the latest financial trends.
Maybe You Should Talk To Someone by Lory Gottlieb
“Maybe You Should Talk to Someone” is a beautifully written book that was an absolute pleasure to read. It is so engaging, sometimes I keep forgetting that this book is not fiction.
“Maybe You Should Talk To Someone,” the author, Lori Gottlieb, is both a therapist and a patient. So, you get the juicy therapist’s point of view on how they handle all sorts of situations, but you also get her real-life experience of being on the other side of the couch.
The aim? To make therapy seem less scary and more like, well, normal. It shows therapy isn’t just for people with super deep problems, but for anyone who wants to understand themselves better, deal with life’s curveballs, and live a little happier.
Plus, it might just inspire you to reflect on your own life and figure out what kind of “therapy” (or maybe just self-improvement strategy) might work for you.
Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals
Think about it: life is just 4,000 weekends (on average).
That’s crazy short, right? And in that time, it feels like everyone’s got a list of things we should be doing – climb the career ladder, travel the world, be perfect!
We’re told to chase dreams, avoid messing up, and somehow find happiness in the chaos.
That’s the trap Oliver Burkeman tackles in “Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals.”
Oliver Burkemen can help you to “Live a life, not just a schedule”
Here are a few things you can look forward to,
- Shifting perspective: Instead of focusing on getting everything done (which is impossible), the book emphasizes accepting the finite nature of time and using that awareness to prioritize what truly matters.
- Reframing challenges: It challenges the idea that busyness equals productivity and reframes common time management struggles like to-do lists and work-life balance.
- Practical tools: Despite the philosophical bent, the book also offers practical tools for cultivating a more meaningful relationship with time, such as prioritization techniques and strategies for dealing with distractions.
The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
The Alchemist might not be self-help in the traditional sense, but it’s become a powerful source of inspiration for me.
That’s why it’s one of my all-time favorite books.
The Alchemist is the story of Santiago, a shepherd who goes on a journey to fulfill his “Personal Legend” – his deepest desire.
The book doesn’t just focus on the destination, but on the importance of the entire journey, trusting your instincts and following your heart.
This book will inspire you to chase your dreams.
Digital Minimalism: Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World
Imagine feeling in control of your phone, instead of the other way around. That’s what “Digital Minimalism” is about.
The book argues that just like minimalism applied to physical possessions, you can also minimize your digital clutter. This means removing unnecessary apps, notifications, and digital distractions to create a more focused and intentional relationship with technology.
If you are someone who is “chronically online,” Digital minimalism can help you achieve a more intentional and balanced relationship with technology, that will allow you to live a more focused and fulfilling life.
RELATED: How to reduce your screen time in 8 simple steps.
FAQ’S
Do self-help books actually work?
Here’s the thing: self-help books are there to help you, not replace you.
Don’t let self-help books become a substitute for action. They’re like instruction manuals – they provide guidance and tools, but you need to use them to get results. Choose books that speak to you, then actively apply their lessons to your life. That’s when self-help books become truly powerful.
Where do I find self-help books that will work for me?
Choosing a good self-help book that works for you is tricky. This is because self-help is so personal. That’s why you should look for books that fit your requirements. I usually use Reddit and Goodreads to find books that can be helpful. You can do the same.
Reddit:
Instead of browsing r/selfhelp broadly, try searching for subreddits dedicated to your exact goal. For example, if you want to improve your finances, look for r/personalfinance. These communities often have book recommendation threads or wikis with user-approved resources.
You can also Make a post in r/suggestmeabook detailing your goals and what you’re looking for in a self-help book. Redditors are great at providing personalized suggestions based on your preferences.
Goodreads
Goodreads has a “Self Help” shelf that includes a wide variety of self-help books. You can browse the shelf by popularity, publication date, or average rating.
Goodreads users often create lists of their favorite self-help books. You can search for lists on specific topics, or browse general lists of highly-rated self-help books.
